is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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