I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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