hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
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