Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
