I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
