Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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