girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
