I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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