Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
