Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
