I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
