What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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