Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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