Soap is not a condiment
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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