I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
