If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
