the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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