Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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