i think i scared a bird with my dick
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
