fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
