I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
