And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
do herpes really smell.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
