susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
