Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
