No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
