You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
