I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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