if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
