I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
