Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
