we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
