So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I have already put on my inside pants.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
