Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
