Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
