Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
