BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
