i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Randomize
