Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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