guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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