no you cant smoke seaweed
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
