Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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