Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Just high enough for therapy.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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