I just pynch a tree in the face
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
