I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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