She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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