I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
