my mouth tastes like poor choices
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
