brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
