real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
