You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
