The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
